Wednesday, November 02, 2005

BRACE YOURSELVES.....ITS JACKIESUE

Yes, it's me and boy am I pissed off...I would have been here sooner but thanks to the slow snail computers here at my little library in West, by god, Texas, it has taken me almost an hour to hook up...I lack the ability to sit in my litle chair and watch the blue square get larger...it makes me pissy...and as sooner and babs can attest..it's not a good idea to make jackisue pissy...although it can make me a happy camper to be pissy.I actually stay pissy most of the time.This being brought on by the lack of leadership in my country..I say my country, because sometimes I don't recognize most of the citizens I hear speaking out in defense of George W. Bush or as I call him...forest gump...I used to call him King George but soon realized that Forest Gump is a more fitting name..or one of the three stooges along with cheney and rowe....I wanted to get off to a good start here and allow you to get to know me slowly as I really do need to grow on you..too much of me at one time can be a very scarry thing..I was born without the ability to censor my self..that little switch that is supposed to click on and allow you to stop and think before you speak was burned out while I was still in the womb...If it is a thought, it is spoken...I can piss off, embarrass or anger more people in a shorter length of time than just about anyone that I know..I sometimes am filled with remorse because I have angered or hurt someones feelings..but generally I just say "oh, well, fuckit".Something else I need to warn you about...I have a nasty mouth...due to the lack of switch thing and being raised in the military..I have set the land speed recornd for saying "fuckyou"...I actually was presented a plaque with this on it:"to Jackie, she has the fastest fuckyou in town"...i lived in Portland, Oregon at the time, so that covered a lot of territory...I now live in Texas, and still have the fastest "fuckyou"....I rule...one of my nicknames is TackyJacky....I take great pride in that also..Being from Texas where we take great pride in being the biggest, best, tallest, etc..we also take great pride in being the best of the worse...biggest asshole, worse bitch, tackiest old granny ...that sort of thing...we be number 1...So fair warning..do not stop and linger here if you are a small child, rightwing wingnut rebublican bush lover, overly sensitive, overly fond of God and his kid Jesus(as I am also a pagan and worship the Goddess), or thin skinned...as I leave no prisioners...but if you have been known to have a warped sense of humor,and have the ability to take a joke...welcome...kick off your shoes, grab a Dublin Dr.pepper and a bowl of red...your in the Jackie Zone......

24 Comments:

Blogger Emily said...

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11:02 AM  
Blogger Babs said...

I found you!!!!
You need to turn on word verfication so you don't get SPAM comments like that one above.
But see the little trash can...you can delete that comment.
Welcome to fucking blogspot!!!

11:11 AM  
Blogger Denise said...

Welcome to BlogSpot...where you can cuss all ya want!

-Denise

11:20 AM  
Blogger Blogdreamz said...

Hello there...nice seeing you.

11:24 AM  
Blogger soonerfan78 said...

Holy dogshit, the 3 horns of the apocalypse have converged...it is prophecy come true...missed ya , now I gotta kiss ya

1:37 PM  
Blogger leo myshkin said...

the planets are aligning!!

you said what you meant and you meant what you said:

adios cocksuckers!!

4:29 PM  
Blogger soonerfan78 said...

hon, if you will e-mail me with your sign in and password, I'll hook ya up with links to whoever you choose here or at blogster, this blog is yours, it is sacred, and it will be treated as such, if it hairlips every cocksucker in Newark, by god.

7:12 PM  
Blogger Vietnam Vet said...

Howdy neighbor! I would have dropped by sooner, (no pun intended sooner) but I feel like crap. Welcome to the hood, this is place has some nice features. Cuss up a storm, don't bother me, I just don't. Why? Beats me.
Bob

3:21 AM  
Blogger apositivepessimist said...

*bows down...doing that fluttery hand thing*


…because curtseying is fer pussies.

4:36 AM  
Blogger The Pirate said...

Hey Jackie

1:14 PM  
Blogger Vietnam Vet said...

Sooner or Jackie turn on your word verification or you will get spammed to death. But maybe you like spam? My wife and I have it once in a while, she cooks fried potatoes with it. Mmmmmm but too much sodium. Are we talking about the same spam?

6:17 AM  
Blogger apositivepessimist said...

no need to...i got you under jackedoffjackiesue.

;))

2:59 AM  
Blogger Trollmeister said...

Jackie - Listen to the computer that wouldn't let you connect. It's helping you. It's helping ALL of us.

12:38 AM  
Blogger Galt-In-Da-Box said...

Jackiesue...WTF happened to all your other posts?
This sucks!
All that great content down the shitbowl, especially the music reviews, and your life and times related thereto.

6:50 PM  
Blogger Wicked Storm said...

I have missed you my pretty, thanks for the phone call, you made me smile!

10:50 PM  
Blogger Wicked Storm said...

PS> How do you like me now? :)

10:58 PM  
Blogger dom said...

I'm learning Spanish, so I can fit in with all your fellow Americans :)

6:23 PM  
Blogger dom said...

I know I've been away ... but where is your old Blog ?

6:25 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

OMG Jackie/yellowdoggranny! I am completely in love with you, in a totally non sexual sense...for now!! Tee hee!
You are my mentor, my leader, and my image of myself when I eventually grow up...let me know when you get to the "grown up" stage! LOL! I'm with you, aint' gonna happen!

Thanks for checking out my BF's site, she's thrilled (she kept up with mine and thought you were a hoot as well!)

We've established that we are cowboy fans as per smacking Travis..but where did all these sooner fans come from? Do I need to detonate my OK bug...or, (gulp) are you a fan? You, I will forgive, I will just make sure you dont' reproduce!

Love ya Jackie/yeller!

3:59 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

Oh yeah! I wanna know more about this prop making gig you had in Hollywood! PPLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEE tell me you have some really cool gossip (or that you slept with a a major movie star!)

I am a hollywood gossip crack whore. I subscribe to "People" magazine, I never miss ANY awards show...the irony being, I haven;t been to a movie in what, 9 years?! I abhor fashion, cant' begin to care about shoes...so what's up with me?!

4:32 PM  
Blogger Utah Savage said...

Hi honey. Sorry I've been so absent lately. I'm entering a writing contest and it's a mother F#$##%.

Anyway, I here now and I'm here to tag you, so come see me when you have a moment.

4:04 PM  
Blogger The Future Was Yesterday said...

["that little switch that is supposed to click on and allow you to stop and think before you speak was burned out while I was still in the womb"]
You ain't alone, Sister!! I stop and think (on good days) a few days, months later. If I got something to say....it gits said and damn the torpedoes!

[".I can piss off, embarrass or anger more people in a shorter length of time than just about anyone that I know"]

Except me. I can piss off an empty room.:) I call our problem child the Texas Turd, but then you know me. At least you're one of the few in the biggest, best, carried to nausea levels, state that even admits, let alone says, Texas is full of problems.

It IS a big state. Bigger doesn't always make better.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Poor Wilber said...

I heard Portland was missing a hairly legged hippie chick. Is that you, perhaps?

3:38 PM  
Blogger JAYNE FAGAN said...

where is your blog? love love love it!!

8:48 AM  

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